SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Just so we don't bask too long in the glow of our 11-9 opening night win over the Fleisher Art Memorial, let's take a quick look ahead at the week to come. It's one thing to beat an expansion team in its first-ever game, and it's quite another to have to face a couple of unpleasant rivals as they come off of opening losses.

Week 2 of the schedule features our first Monday-Tuesday doubleheader and we start with the Please Touch Museum at Lake Belmont 4, and have to recover to play the five-time defending league champion Franklin Institute Orcs at Dairy 2 on Tuesday.

Now, this would be a nasty bit of scheduling any time, let alone this early in the season. Since the Bad Touchers entered the league, we are 1-3 against them. The one win in 2009 was by a single run, and we were called douchebags by their manager during that game for a call at third and he refused to shake our hands. There's no sense mentioning his name because Frank's not that bad a guy it turns out, but nevertheless. The three losses have been by a combined score of 67-17. Yeah, and we're the douchebags.

So, we play these guys as they come off a 32-6 loss to the Zoo. Now, let that one sink in a little.

Not only had the Zoo never previously beaten the Please Douchers, but the Wild Animals had given up an average of 23 runs in the three prior meetings (there was also a forfeit by Zoo). I can't tell you the last time the Zoo scored 32 runs in a league game because Ron's records of that time period were all on papyrus and, well, let's just say they weren't properly preserved. I can tell you that the Zoo is coming off back-to-back 2-12 seasons in which the only wins were against the Academy of No Show. And I can further tell you (I don't like the karma in this one) that the Zoo's last win over a non-ANS opponent came in the 12th week of the 2008 season, a 15-10 decision over the Red Inks of P&P.

Well, that was exhausting research, but what it means is that the Touchers are not happy and they have us circled for Monday. Bring it on.

That leads us to Tuesday and the Orcs, who lost 11-10 to Bishop's Collar in a replay of last season's championship series -- although not the outcome. Franklin tends to stumble once or twice a season, but it's been some time since the stumbling was against us, and it's also been a while since the Orcs lost two in a row.

Much of the stumbling against the Prelate's Neckbands was done by birthday boy shortstop Ryan Whitmarsh who partied like it was 2004 and went 0-fer at the plate. He'll be trying to make amends against us.

Well, what of it? Instead of focusing on the challenge, let's concentrate on how good it will feel to sweep this week and sit atop the league standings with a 3-0 record. Let's wash away the pain of our history against these teams and forge a new beginning.

Failing that, let's have a few beers and play some ball.