I JUST WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND

Well, it didn’t look that way from the bench. It looked like the left-center fielder was trotting to the infield to get a clarification on what the shortstop meant when he screamed, “Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!”
Since Russ Krause had a distinct reach and weight disadvantage, it seemed appropriate to intervene before he received this clarification from the terrible, swift right hand of Marcus Hayes.
The Management would like to apologize for any unnecessary drama on the crispy, baked moonscape of Edgeley 8 on Tuesday night, but it’s better to be safe than to be calling Krause’s immediate family to explain that he should have just thrown the fucking ball to third base.
Backed up smartly by B.J. Clark – who apparently took the long way around Edgeley Oval and had just crossed the first-base line when the whole matter was settled – Management put down his beer, and sprinted to the shortstop position, where he was quizzed thusly by Hayes: “What the fuck are you doing out here?”
Having no reasonable answer, it was back to the bench, the beer and the game. Eventually, B.J. made it back, too.
Ah, yes, the game. The Red Inks of the Pen & Pencil stuck their erasers above the .500 mark again this season, improving to a 6-5 record with a closer-than-it-looks 14-6 win over the Fighting Sammys of the Fleisher Art Memorial.
We galloped out to a 6-0 lead in the top of the first, but the laughing ceased when Fleisher came back for four in the bottom of the inning and it didn’t become a chucklefest again until the seventh and final inning.
It was something like 8-5 or 9-6 most of the way. We had the lead, but it was never put away until we added five more in the top of the seventh to secure the win for starting pitcher Chris Yasiejko and eliminate the save for the Management.
Along the way, the Red Inks collected 20 hits, including six of the extra-base variety. George Miller had a pair of doubles, Brian Donlen and Tom Hickey each had a triple, and Hayes instigated two home runs and finished his 3-for-4 day with four RBIs. Kerry O’Connor also had three hits, including a double. Two hits each for Julie Dugan (1 RBI), Kathy Matheson, Krause, Miller, Donlen (3 RBIs), and Yasiejko (1 RBI). Dan Rubin added an RBI on a sacrifice fly.
It should be noted that Tom Hickey played his second game of the season, breaking his 2010 record by one. He also steadfastly insisted on hitting line drives to the third baseman, who had proved by the end that he could, in fact, catch them.
In the field, we played very good defense, limited the Sammys to 12 hits and giving up just two runs and seven of those hits after the first inning. They brought only 25 batters to the plate in their last six at-bats.
So, it ended up looking like an easy win, and maybe it was. Apologize to those who did not dent the scorebook – particularly Sheila Ballen who waited until 11:06 p.m. to get into the game and then finally gave up. It should also be noted that we won the game despite Dan Rubin’s decision to wear dress socks (see photo). There really isn’t much more to say about it.
Big day on Tuesday. We play the Franklin Institute with our hopes and dreams on the line and then… Hoagiefest! Yes, the annual celebration of the Summer Solstice and prepared meat products. More details as they become available. Get your running in and shut the fuck up.
(Photos by Jon Snyder)
"And then fucking Ford says, 'C'mon, Beej. Let's go break this up.' And I'm, like, 'Oh, yeah, asshole. That sounds like a good idea. I'll be right there.'"